2002-02-01 15:28:30 (UTC)

It's a White White World

It's a white white world outside his little bedroom window
this morning. He hasn't gone to sleep yet. The tv in his
dark room is emitting a cozy blue sapphire glow upon his
scattered bedsheets. School cancellations roll along the
bottom of the screen in reiteration with the morning news.
He sits upon his computer desk chair, toes curled beneath
him, hypnotically typing away the story of his boring
rhetorical life. His eyes are red and stinging from the
endless racing thoughts that lavishly rape him from any
possible sleep.

He is comfortable and satisfied wrapped cocoon style in the
flower decorated comforter he stole from his empty naked

The white world outside his window reminds him of the joy
that, once upon a time, a fresh snowfall on a school day,
would bring to him. It was the most joy imaginable for an
adolescent teenager who hated school. It was bigger then
his birthday, even christmas. The joy of no school was the
triumph of the year.


Jumping out of bed wearing a smile and leaving the bedroom
door to crash into the wall, he would make a mad dash to
the living room. Stirred with so much anticipation he would
fumble the tv remote in his hands trying to find the red
square power button. Finally the tv would come alive and
his morning un-adjusted eyes would strain to soak in the
flashing schools as they scrolled across the bottom of the
tv screen. He would pray, as if it was a matter of life or
death, for his town to flash by. As more and more towns
flickered by he silently assured himself looking out the
window as a giant plow truck would rumble by,

"There is way to much snow to have school today."

For the next 20 minutes his eyes would never leave the
television set. He would sit motionless like a zombie
staring into the tv box until finally his school flashed
upon the screen. He would jump up and down in the air
clapping and smiling like he had just won a million
dollars. After his little dance was over and all his energy
was completely worn, he would stumble over his own two feet
making his way back down the hall. Into the dark isolated
layer where he had just come from, he would do what he
wished he could do every day he had school. Turn the alarm
clock off, close the shades, and sleep all day.


He sits bopping his head to the soothing hypnotic beat of
Enigma's Club Dance Mix. He is more comfortable then he has
been in a long, long time. He's got a new job, and he knows
life is only going to get better from this day on. The
money will be rolling in and soon enough he will escape the
room, the home, the isolated prison he has been subjected
to for 18 years. He will have his own place. A place where
he can make his own rules. A place where he can leave shit
anywhere he wants and not get yelled at. In the future he
will be happy once again. He will have a new car. He will
be with his love once again. He will have every piece to
the puzzle he has dreamed.

With this assurance he is able to move on in the life he
has now. With this assurance he sits comfortably wrapped in
the flowered blanket today. Wanting to be no where else in
the world. Wanting nothing more in the world. He is exactly
content where he is peering into the white nothingness
outside his window. He knows it will all come together
someday. It is this comfort that keeps him stable today. It
is this comfort that keeps him stable every day. It is this
comfort that he knows someday everything will be ok.

FUCK i miss you. :*(