Stranger Within
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2001-04-23 02:05:33 (UTC)

So very Strange..

I am very strange. I know this. I mean "normal" people (as
humanity thrives on labels, I use them as reference)have
parents. I don't and never really did. Throughout my life,
and even now, I somehow think to myself that I died with
them. And I tend to tell myself that I have no identity
without them. When you're a child you can look up to your
mom or dad and ask "what did you think when you were a kid?
why does this work like that? why was I born? was I a
mistake?" etc. But I never got to ask those questions. I
have no memory of them. All I have are faded pictures.
Images of those I will never meet, nor see again.
I was adopted by my Grandparents. But by the time I was 9,
I only had my grandmother left. She never really liked me,
and she still doesn't. In a way, I feel like I'm waiting in
an orphanage, thinking to myself that some new set of
parents are waiting for me. They are going to walk through
the door and say "There she is! she's perfect, exactly what
we had in mind! You're our daughter. You can call us Mom
and Dad." Then I look back at my thoughts and tell
myself, "Wow I'm pathetic"

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