Product of a Broken Home
2002-02-01 00:40:24 (UTC)

the rough side of town

i went out for lunch with my father, it was really nice. i
miss just spending time like that with him. we went out for
pizza, snuck me into a bar, umm...then we bought my
birthday present {and considering my birthday was in june,
its about time} and then we went and sat and had coffee and
talked somemore. i miss having conversations like that with
an adult, and i can never really talk to other adults like
i do my father, i feel very much like i can be completely
open with him.

we talked about mom, and my cousin, and my life, and how
fucking bored i am. it just feels life theres no point,
like lifes not going anywhere, and i know that a lot of
that is because i'm 15, and stuff, but still. so i'm trying
to pull trough, cause it always gets better eventually.

like last night, life sucked, i was sticking a safety pin
in my wrist, for heaven's sake, and today, everything got
better. i got out of the house, i saw my dad, had a nice
morning with my grandmother. i know that at some point
today i'm going to have to talk to my cousin, and tell she
has to talk to an adult. but i'm going to put that off fr a
bit, so yeah..

overall, i'm feeling better, calmer, and generally good. i
feel blue, which doesn't mean i'm sad, its means relaxed
and peaceful, its one of those color feelings i can


p.s.-is that less negative for you?