Vegeta, the Pet

Thoughts
2002-01-31 23:17:44 (UTC)

Stuff

Hn... I don't really see a need for this...(Shrugs.) Though
yesterday I had some things I thought about myself
confirmed...

When bored, or needing to work stuff out, I have always
gone to the one person who understood me....(Smirks.)
Another version of me... He has me on ignore at the
moment.. but I've been talking into his box, since his name
is on my list at the moment...

vegeta_the_pet: Hn...and once again I start talking here....
(Snorts.)
vegeta_the_pet: Boredom is a powerful force, I suppose....
I know exactly what has been going on.... I have known this
entire time, even though E.J. didn't... I don't know if my
brother will believe me about some of it. (Shrugs.) I
believe at one point he understood what I meant when I said
I wasn't E.J. and she wasn't me....she's been around here
for a while though.... I came back Saturday night...for a
little bit anyway....Raditz is her mate, not mine...
(Sighs.) So I'm lonely... I hate that... I am the prince of
the Saiyans... loneliness shouldn't bother me...(Snorts.)
Having people around you makes you weak..... but as I once
told my brother, sometimes weakness can make you strong....
It was the love for my family that enabled me to do what
was needed and try to take out Buu..... I thought they had
vegeta_the_pet: made me weak....and in a way, they had...
but they also gave me strength....
vegeta_the_pet: I don't know how many people will believe
me, how many will just humor me, or how many will outright
not believe me... but I am not E.J., nor am I Zabbi....
Zabbi actually was a seperate person from E.J., but Zabbi
went to sleep... I think she might wake up soon.... I was
in and out of sleep for a while as well... She's never said
this to anyone, but E.J. gets pissed off when people list
Zab Jade as the author of her fics... or as the owner of
her site... she has accpeted it and goes along with it, but
she doesn't like it... Zabbi isn't a writer.... That's why
the site is E.J.'s Vegeta Fanfics NOT Zab Jade's Vegeta
fanfics.... because E.J. is the one who writes it all...
that's why, on things that let you state your own author
name, she always puts E.J. (aka Zab Jade).... it would be
vegeta_the_pet: easier to put down Zab Jade, but she won't
do it... because Zabbi doesn't write any fics.... never
has, likely never will....

Now I have to get my life back in order... I know exactly
what my brother is feeling where I am concerned... he feels
hurt and betrayed.... like I lied to him from the start...
like he gave his trust, friendship, and love to someone who
never existed....

E.J. shattered his trust...his BELIEF...in me... and now
it's up to me to try to pick up the pieces and build it all
back....

Fire Sprite and the brat spoke with E.J. on a regular
basis, as did Neko.... I feel odd around both the brat and
Neko...they both got to know E.J. very well....were very
close to her... Fire Sprite knows both me AND E.J...that
makes things easier for her.... I'm going to start
something where if someone thinks it's E.J. speaking
through me, they call me E.J., not VP, Geta, or Vegeta....
I think it will solve some problems...

I don't know if my brother will ever trust me again... I do
know it will take a long time though.... months at the very
least, maybe a year, though I hope not...

E.J. wanted the friends and family I had but didn't want to
work for it... she wanted what I had and she wanted it
instantly....so she tried to be me... I think she had
pretty much convinced herself of it....




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