I Debbie...
2001-04-22 23:41:01 (UTC)

Day Of Da Blues

This is going to be a long one. First of all I want for the
record to state that I don't know why this is bothering me
except for the fact that it is a continual albatross around
my neck and the only relief for it is when I am at work .
There at least I feel productive and like I am going in a
forward direction instead of in circles or spiraling
downward. But anyway, asshole and I had a bad arguement
last night. Apparently he doesn't think that it is hard what
I am doing and that I have no reason to think that he should
pick up after himself alittle more since he is home more. He
got really aggitated because while he was on the phone with
Jeff, I was putting away his stuff. He had it strewn out all
over the living and dining areas and tha ac was on full
blast. The dished were still piled up in the sink. And he
had the nerve to call me at work knowing I had money for him
for chasing, which he never did,that he could have come to
get for food. He calls me at work to say what I wanted to
get for dinner after I got off work. Now I mean come on I
have just gotten off of a 12 hour day and he asks me that.
Like DAH!!!!!!!!! And I would like to see him work two jobs.
The one and only time that he has he was so tired he only
did it for about three months. I have almost always had two
or three jobs. I am used to it but that doesn't mean that it
isn't hard. And this coming from someone who has to have
8-10 hours sleep and comes home from work totally drained. I
am busting my ass to get us ahead and this is the way I am
treated? I would like to know who in the HELL he thinks that
he is? Not to even mention that I am the one who walks to
work practically every day because I don't have a car. And
he seems to ba backing off of the car thing. Probably
because he knows that J/A can sell us theirs. It's like
every time I do something to promote our position he takes
advantage of it. Mother Fucker...that damn siren went off. I
am so sick of this storm chasing crap!!!!!! I could just
scream!!!!!!!!I am glad that he doesn't know about the 401k
at Foleys. I am thinking of making Casey the sole benficiary
instead of him. Like I want him sending me to an early grave
and spending it on storm crap. And then today on the way out
the door I say for him if he doesn't chase to get groceries.
He said he only had 5 dollars. He says that he wanted to
wait for me to get off work. I bet you it was so if he could
go out chasing later he would still have money.
Somehow,miraculously,he was able to get pork
steaks,potatoes,baked beans,barbeque sauce,and an onion. Oh,
and have money for laundry. Five dollars my ass!!!!! If he
would have said to me that he needed that money for laundry
and gas or something like that ,Heck, I would have given him
more money. My other problem is that I see patterns like
with chasing and I can't help but hold back. I mean we need
to pay bills and get food. And why is it that he can do his
chasing shit and I can't have fun too. At least I have
something to show when I buy something. He is such a selfish
ass when it comes to chasing. I can't believe that comment
he made a couple of weeks ago re I can't believe it always
happens when it is Spring and I want to chase. Like it never
happens at any other time. But because it is important to
him,then I should have to drop everything for his insanity.
I had better get off for alittle. Not that I will be able
to get on any time soon on account of the impending severe
weather. God help me please!!!!!!!!!! I Debbie