Visions Of Life
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2002-01-31 14:27:50 (UTC)

StonerGoths And Corpses


"I wonder if my new job will require a drug test" thinks the
maiden as she takes another hit...

You know how there are glitter goths, romantigoths,
vampiregoths and all those other goth classifications? I
have added a new classification. StonerGoth. I think the
name explains it all but for those imaginationally (is that
even a word?) challenged, a stonergoth is a combination of
hippy and gothic styles mixed with some smokable
accessories. It brilliant! Its beautiful! Its totally

And the job hunt continues...

So far, no luck. Every place Ive looked, they have wanted
part time employees instead of full time... Grrrr... Watch,
I am going to end up being a manager at pizzahut or
something.. Oh well. I personally dont care. I just wish I
had a more prestigeous sounding job but I will one day..
President of the United States.. Yeah! Does the president
have to take a drug test??

This job hunt is crucial to my sanity. I am under an
unbelievable amount of stress at my current job and that
cant be healthy. Im hoping to find a job in the next couple
of days so I can put in my 2 weeks and get the FUCK out of
there.. Part of me wants to stay longer but I cant or else I
will snap and that is never a good thing.. I am really going
to miss my residents. I have my own little elderly fan club
and its going to break their hearts when I leave. I have
also developed a friendship with one of my co-workers and it
is going to suck not having my daily dose of girl talk.
All of my friends are guys and although I prefer that, its
nice to have a girl to chat with. I mean, you cant talk to
guys about birth control and all of that other girl stuff.
My shift is hard to cover and i didnt have a problem leaving
this one bitch, Hanna alone with it (she is/was supposed to
start workin with me next week)but now my friends boyfriend
is most likely working with me and I dont want to leave him
alone. He is such a kickass person.

Decisions Decisions.. I am leaving, no question about it,
but i feel guilty. I cant always be the selfless angel I am
(laughs. Sometimes I need to worry about myself instead of
the rest of the known universe.

Here is how my night is so far...

Not as chaotic but I am on the lookout for this crazy woman
who was threatening residents with knives and stealing meds
and hiding them. I am a bit paranoid about her sneaking up
on me and attacking me.. I should close the door but i need
to be on the lookout for crazy wandering guy..

We have a mandatory meeting `at 2pm thursday. I am not
going. I can meet with the new manager(asshole) before or
after but I sm busy in the afternoon and I also need to do
that little task called sleeping. I do need to talk to him
about some things.. One of them being about the other night.
The nurse jumped to conclusions(and of course they were
WRONG) and pissed off the new manager. He now thinks
we(mainly Yvonne) dont work. Grrrr.. If only people knew...

I am horrible stressed right now about money and school.
Might move out before my lease is up and there is the
possibility that moving will cost me alot of money.. Im not
positive tho..

I am hoping finances will allow me to go to school in May.
If I dont go to massage therapy school then, I will wait
till fall or spring, and take online classes instead. Did
you know you can earn a degree online? Kickass. I am
applying for financial aid and I think I am poor enough to
get a decent amount. I know some people who get more then
enought for school and I hope I am that lucky. And of course
I fell guilty taking money from the government *laughs*
Whats wrong with me? See, I am NOT a republican! *grins*

I no longer think I am crazy.. I just have a few loose
screws in my head.. Nothing too serious..

I need to shrink my stomach so I can live on just liquids
for a few months.. Then I can save money on food..


Wow.. A resident died on us around 5am.. They always have to
die near the end of our shift and totally fuck up our
scedules.. Why cant they wait.. I am being sarcastic.. When
Im nervous or whatever I get like that.. Poor guy.. he was
having seizures all night and since he is on hospice, we
couldnt send him to a hospital. We had to sit and watch him
suffer then die. My stomach is in knots.

That crazy woman found me in the laundry room. She was
babbling about her pastor and church and then said I was
giving her horrible service so she stormed off, slamming her
room door. Then, later on she found us in the office. She
babbled again then stormed off, throwing her keys down the
hall and swearing... She scares me..

I have a new job related plan.. Transfering within my
company. I work for Marriott.. Hotel employees can transfer
to healthcare so I am guessing healthcare employees can
transfer to the hotels.. I am going in today anyways to meet
the manager.. Might as well as Human Resources about

I havent even met the manager and already I dislike him. I
will need to control my feelings when I meet him. Some of
his ideas on how to deal with residents are a bit.. illegal
and brutal and that does not make me happy.. Plus he has
fucked up the scedule as well as everything else.. And he
codes things with butterflies.. What are we, children? This
isnt the alzheimer unit, mister.. You need to act like an
adult or get the fuck out of here.. Grrrr.. Not that Im
hostile or anything..

My baby brother was coughing up blood.. That worries me tho
the doctor says its not serious.. My mom has been sick for
almost 3 weeks..

Tired and Stressed.. Yuck.. Guess Ill go sleep for a couple
hours then venture off...