The Xdruggie Files
Ad 0:
2002-01-31 05:57:11 (UTC)

Sex, Drugs, and ME?

It's scary when you plan a relapse for yourself. I am so
almost there. I get pissed everytime i go to group. I get
pissed pretty much being around anyone or anything. I think
about trying to use just once (which i know i can't); I
think about trying just to drink. I think about relaspse as
a part of recovery...i try not to think about using and i
don't think about it, but then i think about sex and then i
really want to fuck AND use. Jeffy told me tonight that i
was a very different person than the one i was in treatment
and that he was worried about me. I was very focused in
treatment, but i have totally lost focus. I am very bitter
to say the least. I let little things get under my skin. I
don't understand where i am right now. why don't i want to
stay sober for myself? I hope the 4th step and 5th step