Misspelled Words
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2002-01-30 22:11:53 (UTC)

New day, new thoughts

Nothing too special happened today. I woke up like every
other normal day. Except today I didn't go to school. My
alarm clock went off like it does everyday, I got up and
shut it off, we've all done that. I woke up today feeling
terrible. My throat hurt and my body ached. Everyone hates
having a cold.
"Kerensa? Are you going to get up?" Mother called from her
"Ugh! I'm not feeling good...can I stay home from school?"
I asked.
"Fine, but you're not going online!" She answered.
That was just about the end of my morning. I slept until 11
PM or so, central. So I got about 12 hours of sleep, it
still didn't feel like enough, but I couldn't fall back
asleep. I got up and ate breakfast, mother was on the
computer doing her daily things. I finished my bowl of
breakfast and sat down, watching TV on the couch.. I soon
got bored of that and wandered back to bed. I watched TV
from my room. The show was Maury...

Today I'm supposed to take Carrie to Planned Parenthood to
get her birth control pills. I only agreed to take her! So
many things are happening with her, and all I'm really
doing now is sitting back and watching. When she does
something that messes her up some, all I do is watch it
happen, I don't give her that much support anymore, you
know? You have to figure things out on your own.. Is that
right of me, Mimmy? I've been told that just helping her
along with this will keep the problem persisting.. it won't
solve anything if I help her out, just make it last longer.
I don't want that to happen at all. But I'm always there
for her, I'm her friend.. That's what friends do. But then
friends always do what they feel is best...and I'm starting
to think that her doing these things on her own is what's
best now.

Carrie can be pretty messed up sometimes, no offense. She's
a great friend and all, and she can do things right when
she tries. She can be pretty smart, but in some places she
can be just down right...well, stupid. She's one of my best
friends, yes, but I want her to get her life together. I
want her to stop sleeping around. I guarantee that she'll
feel a lot better if she got her life together, stopped
sleeping around, and caught up with things. She's noticed
that life won't always be a bed of roses, and that STD's
are easier to get than you think. But she never does really
learn that the point of learning all those lessons would be
to stop! Things will continue to go wrong if she doesn't
stop! Everyone has problems, and I know she has a lot
sometimes, but they wouldn't be so much if she'd only stop
sleeping around. The next thing would be to quit smoking,
that's just as bad almost. "I'm addicted, Kerensa. I can't
quit." Bull! You can quit if you want to. My mother smoked
for how many years? Half her life or more! And she quit!
She quit 3 years ago. If my MOTHER can do it, so can she...

Well, we'll just see what happens...

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