This isn't life !
First sunny day since... I don't even remember when ! I
didn't go out yesterday night, I felt pathetic watching
Roswell on TV. I cried and I cried in my mother's arms, and
I couldn't explain her why. I didn't want to. I felt so
stupid. Well, today I feel better. I'm not supposed to be
on the internet now, because the bill's gonna be quite
expensive, but I don't care. A friend of mine e-mailed me
today, actually the one I was talking about yesterday, who
likes me.We're gonna call him B. Well, I have now the
confirmation he likes me. I don't know what to do about
him. Oh my god I'd give all I've got to have a cigarette
right now. Me and my sister don't have any, it's sunday,
all is closed, I'm gonna get insane. I know I shouldn't
smoke. I can't stop, not because I need it, but because I
like it so much. It's like if some cloud went down to your
pulmons, so sweet. Anyway, everybody smokes at school (for
ur information, minors are allowed to smoke in France, and
some high schools like mine don't mind if we smoke, outside
the classrooms of course) and it's very hard to stop when
everybody smokes around you. Well, I'm gonna talk about
something else, it drives me insane.
The sky is so blue. I'm fascinated by the thing's colors. I
know, it's stupid, but my sister says I'm obsessed by what
I call "true colors". I don't find anything as beautiful
as "true red", deep red. And that blue makes me feel as if
the time has stopped. Usually I hate sundays, because
tomorrow is Monday, I gotta go to school, etc..., but today
I feel good because of this incredible blue.
Can't believe it my life is so uninteresting ! Who the hell
can be interested by what I write ? All I do is talking
about the weather. Oh shit I have this homework to do on
the computer for tomorrow. I probably won't do it, as all
the time. I will find some excuse, I usually am quite good
Okay, I don't want you to fall asleep, so I'm gonna stop.
Amandine (that's my name)
PS: I would like to thank all the ones who have sent me
messages, you can't imagine how better I feel.