Deep Down
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2002-01-30 04:55:49 (UTC)

Here is what you wanted to know..Nee.

I think about what I have, and what I cannot have.
I know all, see all, feel all, but yet I ponder what it is
within my life that I am missing.
Have I done the right thing? Or am I still in the circle
with which I began circling?
These eyes, have seen much beauty. For everthing around me
I take in and consider it beautiful.
These fingers have longed to touch another, and yet, have
touched so many. They have felt the rough times, along with
the gentle times.
These ears have heard wise stories, fiction, and horror,
but yet, I still take it all in....considering all,
belittling nothing.
This mouth has spoke many words and felt the gentle, silky
tones of the roses which once laid upon my bed...my mates.
And through my mind plays memories and futures...for what I
hold. Everything......for everything in my mind is
beautiful. Except me.
I am not worthy of any's love.
I am not worth any's time or patience.
I am not worthy period.....of any walks of life.
Personal opinions come in handy.
****So here is my poem....in all that I proclaim****

I always seem to debate the issues in my life, however not
always making the "right" decisions. I try. I weigh my
decisions, opportunities and outcomes very carefully. Yet,
I somehow seem to disappoint someone down the road. I
believe I can't please anyone. I try. I believe also that I
can make those around me happy.....if only they listen and
let me in. I know I can make others love me....that is, the
REAL me. I believe that miracle's among other things are
possible. I also believe that if you want something bad
enough, nothing could possibly stand in the way. I am sure
you can fall in love more than once in your life. And yes,
I believe in love at first sight. I think I am in this
situation now. I see other's points of view...no matter how
foggy and muddled it may become. I feel that within your
lifetime, your parents are not only your parents, but your
mentor, hero, protector and yet alone, best friend. I
believe that media influences society, but what we do with
the information is our own choice. I feel that one day, I
too, can become one's rolemodel. I try. I want to be in
love...mutually. I want to be held and told I am the world,
beyond everything else. Whenever I love, I fail. I tried. I
will continue to think about worldly issues and try to
become the better version of myself. I will show those my
emotions and the inner me.....eventually. I will try.


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