my existance
2001-04-22 11:20:48 (UTC)

How I got here

this is my first time doing anything like this, but ive
enjoyed reading everyone elses entries and I think we can
all learn from eachother. This is advance warning for my
lack of punctuation I will do the best that I can. I am 25
years old, Female, and a new mother.

A little over a year ago I fell Madley in love with my
Fiancee, I was at a Night Club in Southern California, I
would spend alot of my $ and spare time in
Gothic/Industrial clubs. My life was a mad spree of sex
and drunkenness. It was fun! I worked in the Dental Field
as an Assistant, I loved my job. all i did was work and go
clubbing, thats it. i was that way for almost 4 years
after I lost a 4 year relationship. Actually I didnt loose
it I threw it away. (like you throw out rotten vegetables)

I knew my sweetheart from High School, I always saw him
around but I was afraid to talk to him, he was older, and
he was gorgeous,and intimidating. Years later a friend
that we both went to highschool with brought him to the club
I talked to him, and I thought he was good looking and I
was still intimidated, BUT i didnt recoginze him. then I
found out who he was, My best friend showed me his old
yearbook pictures and it all came back to me. Then she
said that she was going to try and go for him. My
competitive spirit kicked in (which is horrible) and I went
after him, I had to try.

The only bad thing is that He was getting a Job transfer to
Northern Ca. A mutual friend of ours Invited me to a going
away party that he was throwing for my sweetheart and i
went figuring that if I was lucky enough for anything to
happen It wouldnt be on a permanent basis, which at the
time I was quite used to anyway. I didnt think that
anything was going to happen he spent most of the time with
his close friend that threw him the party which makes sence
we talked a little, and earlier that month i gave him my #
when I saw him @ a cafe (he didnt call, he didnt have a
phone). Later on in the evening he took his best friends
wife, and her friend for a ride around the block in his car
with a rebuilt engine, and his best friend got jealous (too
drunk) when they got back he jumped over the hood and
reached through the window and socked my sweetheart in the
face. i went out to see if he was okay and i felt so bad
for him, he had a knot on the side of his face, I couldnt
help touching his poor face and trying to mother him.
after that he talked with his friend and made up, we went
to another friends house and ended up making out on the
couch all night, no sex just really into each other
sometimes that is even better than sex. people would walk
through the room and we didnt care. people were sleeping
in the same room and we didnt care. It was probably one of
the best sexual experiences in my life and we didnt even
have sex, it was that intense. (sometimes I think its
better that way anyway)
well there is alot to why and how I got here and i dont
want to bore you because this entry has gotten rather long
so i will finish the story tomorrow, good night everyone