a little piece of me
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2002-01-30 03:49:22 (UTC)

can't think of anything

ok, well, first off, i finished my models for metals. i've
decided on the spider one. i'm going to do it in silver.
i'm fairly excited about it. the dragon one turned out
nice, too, but the spider one looks a lot better. took me
about an hour per model. it's going to take centuries for
the real one, though. lots of tiny holes to cut out.
should be fun, though, now that i know what the finished
thing is going to look like.

next, i got flowers today :) from my mom, but hey, i'll
take em when i can get em. i'm not quite sure why she did
it, but she did. it was really nice of her. they're so
pretty. pink, yellow, and white...some carnations and
daisies, and some other flower, but i'm not sure what kind
it is. shocked the hell out of me. love those kinds of
surprises :)

some bad news for today...got the phone bill from last
month. almost $200. i about shit a brick. i am totally
going to be broke for spring break. i'll just sleep in the
car and eat scraps out of dumpsters :) oh well, least i
don't have to worry about spending that much anymore since
i hardly ever talk to brett now. besides, it's just
money. can't take it with me when i die.

ok, finally, on to heather. i read her diary today, and it
made me feel aweful. i have not been a good friend
lately. i know she's stressed and scared, but i didn't
realize it was quite as bad as it was. she didn't say
anything when i talked to her last night. me, being
selfish, went to bed early instead staying up and talking
to her. i feel like such a jerk. i know what it's like to
not know what's going on. when i was in sixth grade, i had
all kinds of trouble with my foot. the doctors did tons of
tests. they thought i had rheumatoid arthritis (the worst
kind). they told me that i only had a few years before it
would deteriorate to the point where i wouldn't be able to
walk. that was a lot to deal with at such a young age.
luckily, after several more tests, they ruled it out (never
did figure out the problem completely, though).
medications of all kinds haven't helped (i do have some
type of arthritis, but the doctors say it's very rare and
they're not sure exactly what causes it or how to fix it).
anyway, the point was, even though i can relate and
understand how she feels, it's just not enough. i wish i
could be there for her. physically, not just emotionally
and what not. heather, really, if you need anything, let
me know, please. i'll do anything and everything that i
can to help you through this.

alright, i guess that's it. not been sleeping so well, so
i'll probably crash early again tonight...