Christy

If

If I could keep her forever I would
If I could remember every minute with her I would
If my breath could be her's
If my heart only beated for her
If time stopped just a little longer
If the sun rose in honor of her
If the moon would shine to lite her path
It would never be enough
It would never explain or show how much I love her,
I love you

This is my quick two second poem. I just want to write.
Write about her, smile about her, think about her. If feels
wrong what we do, touching her, but at the same time it
makes me so happy that a part of me thinks it is so right.
How can something that makes me feel so good be so wrong? I
keep having "headaches" Not real headaches but the ones
where I can see that "thing" going through my mind. It is
getting really bad though because it is hurting to much. I
think the reason it is hurting is because I have not done
anything to stop it. I mean I used to cut my wrists or
swallow a bottle of pills, but I haven't done anything like
that and it is going to keep hurting until I do something.
I love her. It is driving me crazy because I want to be
selfish, I want her all to myself. I had a bath with her
again last night. I layed on her and she poured water on my
body and...it felt so good. Not good as in it just felt
good, but I mean it was good. Like undescribable, warm,
kinky, I mean it felt...beautiful. I used to be so good at
describing things, I had the creative imagination that
allowed me to put my feelings into words and pictures and
speech. When I am with her, talking about her, or anything
that has to do with her I can no longer describe it. I mean
there are things about her that just can not be put into
simple words without babbling on and trying to explain it.
Just like I am doing now. When I am around her my body just
trembles, I get wet (not only because I 'want' her, but
because I want to be with her and if feels so good), and my
mind goes blank because I don't want to think about
anything or anyone but her. I love her. I hate it and at
the same time I love it. I don't know