Angel

Here it is, but what is it?

Before you read this entry you might wanna read the one
02.11 and 16.12.... or maybe not. It might make you as
comfused as I am...

Here is our litte conversation between me and S* on
Sunday, I was chatting at the internet and then he came
saying...
These are the exact words we used, something that is really
stange cause we have never talked in English before.

Him: are you finaly scared now or have that feeling past?
Me: what?
Me: I think Im finnaly scared now....
Him: are you?
Me: scared to lose
Me: and you?
Him: scared to lose what?
Me: dunno
Him: no...
Me:good for you

Thats all, no good bye, no Im going off line now, nothing...
The silly thins is that I have no idea of what this
conversation meant, anyone?
But the beginning might come from the song I`ve seant him,
or not...
The reason we wrote in English might be so it woudn`t be so
psersonal.

Today I read something about his school, that made me miss
him enen more. Please dont tell me that Im in love with him
agen, I cant be!!!
Well, there`s only one thing to do, I know that...
But, what did we say to each other on Sunday?
I`ve tryed to send him messages when he`s online in two
days now, but he dossn`t answer, is this good bye?
I have this stupid thing in my head that Im gonna go and
figure out more about his school, he`s not living in our
counrty you know, hes liveing aboard.
Now Im thinking about going to the same plase aswell, how
stupid is that?
I have to hit my self very hard some times and say; hey,
stop, now!!!
Living there and study there is not my dream, I`ve always
wanted to go to New York. He knows that.
So why am I, when Im not thinking about it, daydreaming
about living where he is?
I guess I just miss him a lot, I`ll better change things
between us, but how?

Love
Angel