megan

listen to my silences
2002-01-28 21:03:39 (UTC)

note the my

i tried.

that's about all i can say.

we passed a note and i said we could just move on and not
talk about it and i'd be fine with that cause i knew if i
wrote down how i felt, if i tried to explain what was
running through my mind, it'd either be ignored or i'd be
ignored.

what do you know, i was right.

she said no that wasn't gonna work so i told her. and now
things are back to the way they were. they had been
getting better.

question: who's being childish? i'm not saying i'm not.
i'm saying look in the mirror before you call names. i
know i did. and there's a reason that poem was called
blind to my own demise. congrats to english majors on
noting the my.

i'm not not talking to her. yes, there's a double negative
there, congrats to the english majors once again.

i make eye contact, she looks away.

will i involve myself in deep conversation? no. not at the moment
because i can't handle it. and she can't handle me.

do i regret anything i've done or said? at the moment, no,
because i have not been given a reason to.

but i tried.

no matter what i do
it won't ever be enough for you
if i try to explain
you'll ignore me all the same

so why do i bother and why do i care
and maybe i shouldn't try to be there

you wanted to know
you don't want to hear it though
and everything
is my fault again

final thought: sometimes you turn away and i am left here
wondering, where did i go




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