Loo's Daily Affirmations
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2002-01-28 16:46:38 (UTC)

Monday venting session

Well, it's Monday again...

Will give a status update on everything.
Diet: Bad. Bad bad bad Loo. Have been eating horrible food
and horrible amounts and am re-starting today. Have got to
get my eating under control.

Exercise: Bad, but could be worse. I have walked a few
times. I was going to walk this morning, but I rode
yesterday and I am really sore. Was worth it to stay in bed
a bit longer and stretch out really good this morning.

Depression/attitude: Better, much better. I spent the
weekend w/my mom & dad and it was really nice to be with
them and at home. I don't feel like I got anything done,
but that's ok. I had quality time with both of them.
My "change of attitude" seems to still be working and I am
awfully glad. It takes a lot of energy to be mad. It's
easier and funner to have a good attitude.

I am a non-smoker!! Haven't smoked in almost 4 weeks! I am
going to try and go off the candy Wednesday though. :)

OK, my venting subject for the week: R.

This woman (and yes, we are in our 30's, we qualify as
WOMEN) moved away from here because while mixing in bad
company, she developed a problem with CRACK COCAINE. This
is not a small issue to deal with. She moved, seemed to get
that under control, Since then, we exchange emails, chat
online, talk on the phone. She has been home to visit and
party a few times. She is the kind of person who when you
talk to her, will make everything seem like it's going
great. She is never "dating" someone, she is ALWAYS "IN
LOVE" and every time it is "real this time".
She always has drama going on. serious drama (to her). She
dfoesn't seem to realize that I feel as though I have heard
all her drama situations a hundred times. I am to the point
of thinking, "Well, if you have fucked up and gotten
yourself in this situation AGAIN, then maybe you deserve
it." And of course, it is NEVER her fault.
A couple of weeks ago, she called me all upset because
someone we know had a heart attack and died while doing
drugs and at the time, she had fallen off her self imposed
wagon and was on a 3 day CRACK BINGE. Now, this concerned
me because she wasn't in the frame of mind to deal
w/someone dying from what she was doing. She ended up
taking sedatives (enough to OD) and going to the emergency
room. The hospital kept her for 2 days for overdose. That
is pretty scary. She came home, was supposedly doing
better, was hanging out with the boyfriend who was "the
one" (this guy knew she had a problem w/crack and was
smoking it w/her) and was getting better. Whatever.
So friday she paged me that I needed to call her ASAP. she
stated that she had HORRIBLE news.
The HORRIBLE news was that she was involved in a wreck and
totaled her car. She was ok, banged up & a bit sore, but
nothing was broken. The guy was insured, so, she could get
her car replaced...
The thing is, when she called me she was MAD because she
went to the same hospital she had just been to for an OD,
and they wouldn't give her any pain medication. What the
FUCK did she think they were going to say?
So, she had totaled her car and was mad because she
couldn't get any meds, but she felt well enough to rent a
car and drive to another city to see the latest guy. The
boyfriend who was "the one" is gone. She is now seeing the
husband of a girl she was friends with. Their friendship
has fallen slack and the couple is separated. She says she
and this guy have "a connection". Within a week she is in
love again. Here's the thing, if this guy is so great and
they have a connection, why the hell is she having to go
see him? She just wrecked her car and says she is sore and
not feeling great. Wouldn't he be willing to drive a little
way to see her? What the hell?
The basis of my venting is that she has all this drama and
her life is always a mesh of these "life-altering" events
(at least one a week, sometimes 2 or 3). I can't handle all
these. I am not a drama queen, but we all have stuff going
on in our lives. I am not OD'ing, I am not jumping between
men, but my issues are really important to me. I am dealing
with my own demons that are stressful on me too, and I
don't bring mine on myself the way she does. I don't want
to be tied into her freaky drama any more.
And as supportive as I have been to her over time, she is
so self consumed that she just doesn't think anything
happening to anyone else is as important as what happens to
And I am tired of it.
So there. :) I feel better.

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