So many movies had flickered across the screen,so many happy endings he'd seen.Each word had been so perfectly spoken and he had longed so often for this gift,but each time it ended the same.He would turn off the tv, and slowly crawl to bed only to be alone again.Tomorrow would be different,something would change something would happen,but each day brought only fervent expectancy of what the next day would hold.
He knew little of her,of her world,but oh what a wonderfully beautiful world it must be ,too much so for him he sadly thought,but what if.What if he could make her see him in a different way,the real him and then perhaps he could know what it would be to feel true happiness.
He had seen it done so often so many words spoken so perfectly and with perfect timing,but each time words failed him.He could speak all the formalities with charm but to speak of things deep,the feelings that he truly felt and the pangs that drug him farther and farther down the more he was away from her,these things could not come easily to his lips.These words came easily enough as thoughts of her swirled within his mind.Every song was for her,every dance his with his love.To speak these things to her was quite a different matter though.
Then it hit him.For now he would write her.Only a little at first because to unleash from his heart the way he felt would not only fill many books but also court unbearable longing and fear until he had heard from her and knew what she would feel for him.She could never feel the same but he had to try,and so he did.Sitting in the darkened glow of lonely shadow that lay upon the walls as hopes that had escaped his grasp yet still remained painfully in view,he wrote to her.
- Dearest Gina,
How I have wanted to tell you the words that would never come,the feelings that I know are more alive than my very self;the feelings I have for you.With every minute of everyday are thoughts of your smile that warms me as the very sun,and of your touch that I can't now know that leave me as cold as a winter's night. I know that no one wants to touch the things of sadness,to hold the things of emptiness,but I am filled with love for you and sad only to not be with you.My life with you would make every sound a beautiful note yet your voice would be the loveliest of all,removing my every fear,my every doubt.It is hard for me even with pen to tell you these things Gina because I find now that still there is not word enough to let you know of what surges within my heart for you.The very sound of your name is to me a passage through grief.If I could but hire the greatest symphony to play for you it would not be enough.I only wish to relay to you how my desire has perhaps been the one thing that has kept me from telling you this til now,because it has overwhelmed me,stealing my words to you.In closing,my hope is this,that you would only cling to one portion of what all that I feel for you so that it not overwhelm you as it has me,and that you give me chance.
My dearest Gina,
I Love you.-
Wiping the tears from his eyes clinging to the hope that she would accept his love,he went to mail the letter.