2002-01-28 09:21:11 (UTC)

I remember.... Driving With Her....

Today was uneventful. I woke up at 4pm. Sat around and
played guitar and played a little cstrike and thats about
it. It's 12am now. My brother bought Domino's which was
damn good. I ate it at my comp desk while i was blasting my
music. I put winamp on shuffle and it went through a few
songs. I went to the bathroom and looked out the window.
Bright shining moon and the stars everywhere. I shut off
the bathroom light and opened the window. I sat there
looking at the sky and everything and the moon reflecting
off the icysnow for a long time. Whenever I am alone i miss
her so much. Whenever I am in a moment like i was at that
moment I miss her so much. I started remembering memories
and laughing and cryong at the same time. Then like some
fucked up coinsidense as I just started thinking about her
with my head out the bathroom window breathing in the cool
air the music I had blasting in my room decided to switch
to the song "Say it ain't so" by weezer. Her favorite song.
Instantly made me remember all the times we were in my car
at night and screaming this song together all happy and
having so much fun. Driving around portland for hours with
no destination. Just talking singing and being together and
holding each other. Her falling asleep on my lap, lifeless
as I drive down the road. Her whole body shaking when the
car hits a bump. Like a baby. She is my baby. My love. It
made me remember when she would lay on my lap as I drove
staring up at me watching me sing and watching the world go
by out side as I drove. She would look at the stars through
my windshield from her place in my lap. She would look at
her reflection and then back at me. Like a movie. I would
look down. See the shadowed outlines of a beautiful face. A
precious face. The face I love. Staring back at me. It's
amazing what one song can do to you. It's amazing how many
beautiful memories her and I have together. It's amazing
that I love her so fucking much. It's amazing cuz we really
haven't been together very long at all. It's amazing that I
know in the short time we had together that she is the one.

On other things besides her......

Where is my life going? No college. No job. Nothing going
for me except my musical ambition. I hope that will come of
something. I know it will. I guess time will tell. I hope
my mom is okay. She will be in the hospital until this
weekend. Her stomach is messed up and there is blockage and
its all swallun. She will be fine though. She talked to me
today. Always worried like she is. ;) Damn fucking sickness
is everywhere. I hate being sick like I am right now.
Chaped nose and lips and everything from blowing my nose a
thousand times a day. blah. I'm going to work at homevision
video until I find a more decent job that is worth keeping.
I would much rather be at home vision then a fucking food
restuarant. I wouldn't mind being a waiter though. That
would be kool