2002-01-28 09:10:36 (UTC)

I remember.... Cold Night Canoe Ride

One night we were bored. You put on your orange winter
hunting hat and I put on my stolen L.L. Bean hat. We
dressed really warm and went out back.

It was 10 or 11 at night so the dark woods were covered in
white moonlight. It was beautiful to say the least. She
held my hand so tight as we walked down the crooked trail
that led to the pond. Leaves and sticks brushed against our
face and broke beneath our feet.


I love the woods. Especially at night. It's scary and I
love that feeling. I like looking up from the ground and
seeing big tall pine trees reaching for the moonlit star
covered night sky. If you are in the right spot when you
look up it looks like your in a giant hole lined with
trees. The top of the hole is WAY up, and outlined with the
black shadows of tree branches and leaves. It is beautiful.
I wish I could fly up to the top of the hole and into the
stars. When I see the horizon i wish i could fly away into
it forever. The endless horizon. I picture myself with my
arms open like a bird. Flying away.


We got to the lake and it was amazing like it always is.
The stars were reflecting off the surface. It looked as if
it wasn't water at all, but another black star consumed sky
on the ground.

We put the canoe in the water beside the dock and paddled
away into the cold night.

In the middle of the lake we stopped. No sounds anywhere.
Silence. We screamed into the corners of the lake and the
woods lining the shore. Our screams left the boat like a
bullet and returned back to us from 5 differen't places
like a boomerang. I bet the animals in the woods were
wondering wtf was going on out there on the lake that
night. lol.

We paddled to the other side and put the boat on the beach.
It had a leak and was filled with an inch of water, but we
didn't care. We got out and kissed and hugged on the beach.

The sand on the beach was grey and filled with little
crater footprints. It was as if we were walking on the
moons surface. We looked at the stars.... at orion, my
favorite constilation, and cassiopia, and the little and
big dipper.....

We walked up to the restroom facility building. The
building was hunched on the edge of the woods and the trash
can sitting beside it looked like the shadow of a person.
The night is spooky like that. It makes you see things that
arn't really there. The shadow of a bush looks like a
bear.... a stump in the ground looks like the shadow of a
racoon.... the roots from a giant tree look like the
shadows of little snakes on the ground. I think that is why
she was holding on to me so tight. :)

We talked and walked and sang and laughed and then left the
isolated little beach all alone once again....

It was really cold that night even though it was
beautiful...... I could barely feel my hands holding the
paddle. They felt like cold bones with no skin.... but we
had to get back to the dock somehow and it wasn't to

I remember everything from that night.... the way her
eyebrows arch so perfect when she smiles. The curvature of
her happy squinting eyes in the shadow of the moonlight.
How cute she looks in that orange hat. The way she
bounces... her little wiggle when she is happy and trotting
around. bah. I miss her so much......

When the canoe was back on the shore she held my hand real
tight and we walked back home through the scary dark woods.

I forgot to show her my spot that night. I have a favorite
spot by that dock where you can stand and look straight up
into the tree canopies into the beautiful star sky.... it
is one of the prettiest things around here...... i love
that spot.... dammit you need to come back so I can show
you it. :) I went there after you left one time.... and I
pretended i was talking to you as i looked up into the sky
through the dark tree canopies..... you hugging me....
smiling.... AH!

I miss you. SO MUCH. :(

-love Jake