daydream disbeliever

Mad Ramblings From a Blithering Idiot
2002-01-28 06:02:42 (UTC)

Farcical Fear

I just finished scaring the shit out of myself. I see
something on TV and my imagination runs rampant and I'm
transfixed with horror for twenty minutes. It's so weird
to be deliciously terrified. There's no other feeling like
irrational fear that's completely inside one's head and
manifesting itself into silent tears down the cheeks and
frigid chills down the spine. One is also terrified to
move from the "upright fetal position" from the bed. It
happens rarely but I'm glad it does when it's over. I hate
it during the actual process of this onslaught of powerful
mental melodrama, but I'm grateful for the momentary lapse
of boredom and stupidity that is my life. As long as the
object of my temporary repulsion/obsession is
farcical...but mostly their existence is iffy-as in, they
could exist and I like to believe with a rush down my spine
and a tightening in my gut that they are indeed out there.

K.




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