Xeniastar

i heart chapstick
2002-01-28 04:02:17 (UTC)

my face hurts from crying

seriously, what the hell did i do? i will never meet
anyone like tom again. and maybe it's not over, but it
certainly is a huge wound to the relationship. i wonder if
we will look back on this time as a strengthening of our
relationship or as a weak point. either way, i'm both
dreading and looking forward to the coming months. i miss
him already, but i think i will learn a lot about myself.
who am i, without tom, without a concrete plan for the
future? i hope i still exist without a partner...it's not
like i need a man to validate myself - it's just him,
specifically him, that i'm not sure i can be without. and
i'm not even really without him - i know he's still here
for me whenever i need him - but he's also 4 hours away.
maybe that's better, in a sense. we'll see where we go
from here.




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