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2002-01-28 01:51:08 (UTC)

Say's Who?

It's been another day. I can't help, but get excited
because it's over & I have less time to get out on my own
now. I guess that must sound horrible & all, but I have to
live for myself.

Ronnie & I talked almost 3 hours last night. It was really
nice. We haven't got to do that in a while. Schedules suck
major. That's all about to change though.

I was talking to my friend Jessika from back home & she had
ran into one of our old friends. It's a long story, but our
trio kinda went solo if ya know what I mean. Anyway,
Jennifer said that she wanted me to come by & see her in
June when I visit. I can't say that I don't miss her as a
friend, but from what I heard she has changed a lot & it's
all been for the worst. Also, how can it ever be the same
with everything that was said? You can't just pretend like
things didn't take place & people didn't get hurt.

I keep thinking about moving back to West Virginia & I am
definatly going to, but there are people & things there
that I want to leave in my past. A lot of people won't even
know I'm back when I finally do go. Sometimes you live &
learn & then you move on. That's what I am doing. I'm
moving on & I want to start fresh. Of course Ronnie &
Amanda will know I am there & all my family will. I'll
probably even let some other friends that I'm not all that
close to know, but the people I used to hang out with are
just people I am not willing to open myself up to again.
Too many things went wrong that shouldn't have. Too many
people have REALLY changed. I'm just glad that I didn't
change for the worst. I didn't change for the better
either. I just sort of changed, but I'm glad I did. You
probably have no idea what I am saying or what I mean.
Maybe one day when I have time I will take two hours out of
my day & fill all the details in.

Things I've learned: (1) Sometime you realize that you gave
too much of your heart away. (2) Don't put yourself in the
position to be hurt again. (3) Some things are better off
left in the past. (4) Some people are better off left in
the past.


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