Pure Belligerence
2001-04-21 01:34:55 (UTC)

*Andy and Jess: preparing for the future*

Today i went with my grandma and brother and sister to
lunch and then i got a haircut which i needed badly. But
right before the haircut we stoped at thd dollar store so
my brother and sister could get some toys with the money we
got. Me and my grandma waited in the car right outside and
andrew and jessie went right in like they owned the place
and andy got a cart jess got a little basket. It was the
funniest thing. We were watching from the car laughing
like crazy. They were in there for 45 minutes browzing.
My grandma says its good life experience. Ok. But on a
more serious note, i havent been totally honest with my
diary. Im not sure if this is because im trying to deny i
have a problem or what. Tonight i ate more than i should
have and i went into the bathroom and made it come back up
if ya know what i mean. It was gross seeing my already
eaten food in front of me like that, but i felt better
afterwards. This is the first time iv resorted to this.
Before i used other means of not letting my body totally
digest. But there was nobody home so i figure nobody would
hear me, and let me tell you im a loud gagger. Its scary, it really
is. I dont want to be like
this, but i kind of do. I dont know how to put it into
words. I want to tell veronica but i dont know how she'll
react or if she'll tell everyone because we all know she can only
keep a secret if its in her best interest. I feel like shes really
the only one i
can talk to about this sort of thing though because shes gone
through the same deal. If she calls me within a few
minutes i might tell her but if not i'll just wait for
another time. It sucks that i cant trust one of my best friends.
But I just dont want to be another one of the millions
with eating problems. Its pathetic really.