r_sm

My e-diary, Volume infinity and beyond
2001-04-20 22:12:59 (UTC)

How green is your grass?

Journal 19, entry 3, Friday April 20th, 2001

Dear Journal,

I went out to lunch with S today. It is always so hard
meeting up with friends who work for other places, and
trying to justify why I still work here. On a daily basis
I see many reasons why I like it here, but I also see many
reasons why I don't.

Well, is the grass always greener on the other side of the
fence, or not? And the deeper question: how does one find
out without actually going over the fence?

That's how I felt when I started dating again. You can't
really tell whether you are compatible with a person until
you commit, and try to come closer to them. Then once you
do, if it doesn't work out, it's always so hard to go
back. That's been my problem throughout life. I have had
three relationships that have lasted more than a month.
The first was a high school relationship that lasted until
we went to separate colleges. The second ended in my first
marriage, and now this. Of the three jobs I have held post-
college, one I left for geographical relocation, another
for career change, and now my present job.

I have never broken up with anyone.

Well, that's not exactly true. There was V, who I dated
for a couple of months. But that wasn't exactly breaking
up, it was more the cessation of dating.

I need to at least check out the opportunities.

Other than that, I am looking forward to running tomorrow.
Running gives me such complete spiritual and mental peace -
I always get high from it.

That's all for now. Need to drudge through a few more
hours of work and then try to enjoy a weekend full of
errands...


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