nexus

Meditations on the Abyss
2002-01-26 04:22:09 (UTC)

Secrets of the soul

hello,
Something new for the day-- I'm home. I figure that
this will be a good chance to relax and regain some
balance. Lately I feel as though I have been overwhelmed
so I have not been feeling too well (that's bad), but after
talking with friends, returning home and talking friends
(again) so I am beginning to feel better (that's good).
In the last few days I have had an assortment of past
memories dredge up, generally those I don't wish to think
of. For some reason talking with beckbeck also has a habit
of doing this...as she noticed. It doesn't happen with
anyone else, just her. The other thing is that when ever I
do this I immediatly rebuke myself for even letting the
thought enter my mind and tell myself not to go down that
path, yet I still do...baka, baka, baka. I don't know
maybe itis that I seem to have lost part of myself, or
trying to find something. a foolish thought though.


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As memory may be a paradise from which we cannot be driven,
it may also be a hell from which we cannot escape.
-John Lancaster Spalding,
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later....




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