Pink Flowers

Pink Flowers
2002-01-25 18:58:02 (UTC)

I ended up not throwing up..

I ended up not throwing up those pills. I kept down all
eight of them....so I really don't think I have a strong
chance of being pregnant. Anyway, I didn't go to school
today since my brother and my dad went out of town. I just
didn't think that my brother should be able to get out of
school for a vacation and that I should have to go to
school. That is just not cool. Ummmm...I have been taking
keyboarding at school and I think it is working. I am
barely having to look at the board. But anyway, before I
go into last night I need to get out what happened on
Thurs. at school. I was in Coach Dan's class and I just
quit taking notes like I used to. To me there is just no
point! His notes come right out of the book so even if I
did deside to study one night it would not be from the
notes. Well anyway he pulled me out of class and I began
yelling at him and he at me but whatever. It was settled.
He had just better not bring it up again or I will get
really angry! Ok, now last night! That was interesting.
William came over to Lauren's which is where I was and he
took us out to the Eatonton track. I know that he doesn't
want me anymore. He is all over Lauren now. And, who
wouldn't be? She is much more attractive than I am. But,
I guess now it just hurts. I hurt. I wish he liked me. I
really do. Oh, he also found out that I took 8 birth
control pills. He seemed a bit shocked. Well what does he
think that I am going to risk getting pregnant??? He was
talking about how I could have died from that and all but
would he even care??? I doubt it!! I really do. I just
want him so much. I just want him to be attracted to me.
As a person not a body. But, that will never
happen.....with him or with any other guy because I will
always be me. I threw up this morning.....a lot! And, I
got on the tredmill. So I think that this day is going
pretty well so far. I am determined to lose weight! I
want that so much. I want guys drooling over me