daydream disbeliever

Mad Ramblings From a Blithering Idiot
2002-01-25 17:22:03 (UTC)

Elbow Grease

I could think of no other topic for this pathetic,
boredom induced entry. I could write about a few things,
such as my flamed-out-as-soon-as-it-began crush on EH, but
I can save that for later.

What is elbow grease anyway? To really clean
something, does one have to excrete a waxy substance from
the joint that is the home of the funny bone? Just the
thought of something oozing from my body onto my kitchen
table and then rubbing til a glossy sheen appears kind of
freaks me out at the moment. That has got to be one of the
oddest sayings in the English language. That and "Heavens
to Betsy!" ???

There is nothing to do at the moment, except perhaps
get ready for work, exercise, eat a decent meal, etc. I've
been laxing on doing really important things. I can't find
any motivation at all. I MEAN to do these things, but
procrastination, apathy, just plain laziness, call it what
you will-keeps getting in the way. I hate myself for it.
I wish I had someone to grab my fat ass up in the morning
and make me walk a few miles, make me eat those salads and
grilled chicken, and make me do sit ups. Why is it that I
only have willpower during forty days of the year? Lent is
coming up, by the way. I'll give up the same things this
year as last except for pizza. Pizza will be replaced by
walking at least one mile three times a week and twenty
crunches per day. I will make myself do it. Like I
mentioned, I have willpower for only forty days of the
year. Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic.

I don't know why I'm like this. Misanthropic,
avoidant, apathetic...all these adjectives describe me all
too well. I wish they could be replaced by charming,
outgoing, and motivated. But if they were, I would be
without my sarcasm and cynicism-two of my saving graces,
heh. I'd rather posess those than be a happy-go-lucky
dogooder.

I shall now get off of my white dimply ass and get
ready. Au revoir, mes beetches. Until next time I remain
the truffle shuffler,

K.