Missy

The Eye Into My Soul
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2002-01-25 06:36:22 (UTC)

Big Mouth...

Maybe one of these days I will learn to keep my big mouth
shut! Probably not, but geez I hope so. I have got to be
the stupidest person in the entire world... I never think
about what I say before I say it and then I get myself into
trouble (just ask my mom about the stupid stuff that I say
at home). It makes me feel worse when it's a realy good
friend who I am say something stupid to. I hope that Dirty
really understands how sorry I am that I made that stupid
crack about him rushing off to talk to his girlfriend
instead of talking to me... geez, how stupid can one person
be? I didn't mean to make him think that I was mad or
hurt... although maybe I was... I really meant for it to
come out sounding more like I was teasing and less like I
actually meant what I was saying. What makes it worse is
that he called me to ask me if I was mad and I just
couldn't think of a good way to explain myself... I usually
don't get mad/hurt over stuff so when those feelings are
there I don't know what to do with them. So, after I got
off the phone with him I cried for half an hour instead. I
really hate to cry... it has to be the worst thing ever and
it doesn't solve anything so it's pointless... but it seems
like once you start you just can't stop. It seems as though
everything is worse than it really is which makes you cry
more. Fleh on my stupidity and hurting Dirty's feelings!


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