Unholy and Dirty and Beautiful Me
Wanted: One Perfect Man.
I've been reading other peoples' diaries and I like this
whole "list of qualities I want in a man" idea, so I've
decided to start working on my own.*
My next boyfriend must..
- be 20-25 yrs. old
- be taller than I am (however, if he thinks I'm too short
for him he'd best just stay away because there is nothing I
can do about being 5'1!)
- be reliable
- be funny but serious when necessary
- be romantic and sexually aware/secure
- be working towards a well-established future
- not be in any rush to get married and/or move in together
and/or start a family but happy to stick around with me for
a long time
- not be completely obsessed with his body/car/pet/video
games or any combination of those things
- not be addicted to drugs/sex/gambling/alcohol/or anything
else overly self-destructive.
- possess the ability to have a good time/go
places/meet people together AND apart, but always be there when i
- not be a liar of any sort or leave out any major little
details such as an undying love for someone else or a near-
future permanent relocation to a distant place
- not spend more than two lunches/evenings at a strip
club/Hooters bar per month
- not call incessantly to talk about himself and
impatiently wait for me to get past the part about my day
so he can rush into his next monologue about himself.
- must shower DAILY stopping only on occasion for such
events as camping.
- must change clothing DAILY.
- must brush teeth DAILY.
*This is just the beginning. I'm certain the list will
grow as I continue to make my way through my 20's, weeding
out all the unwanted men.