DayDream Believer
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2002-01-24 10:52:53 (UTC)

This is how it goes:

Im stil depressed. Sleepin all day, lying awake in beed
half the night because I dont need that much sleep.

Worse than that is that I think S* wont talk to me.
He`s always online, so its hard to tell when he is sitting
there and when he is doing something else.
I`ve sendt a few messages to him lately, but he hassnt
answerd them, then I get all paranoid and start thinking
that he is avoiding me.
He has two exams this week, so he is probobly studying for
them. But I cant help my self from thinking, what if he`s
avoiding me?

Im not gonna start on the thing with S* brother before
next weekend. This Im gonna be working.
My plan is just to get to know him, since he is the brother
of a perfect poerson (S*) he cant be that bad.
Im not gonna play with his feelings or anything, just get
to know him. Of course I`ll have to act a bit mysterious
because he cant know my hole name end stuff.

I havent talked to Chris for a while, thats okey.
It would be fun to see him, but I guess we`re bouth to
diffrent for each other. We`re not meant to be.
He can be so sweet and nice to me, but then sometimes he
dont give me any attention. And thets always when Im
expecting and hoping rthat he would flirt with me.

I have noticed that I`ve started to miss Miguel a lot.
Not just him, but also the other guy`s who used to hang out
there. Im going back.
13 mounths ago, when I`d quit I said: I know where I belong.
And yesterday (at night ofcourse, at daytime Im at school
or sleeping) Iwas thinking about the good old days and how
it used to be.
There is a song, you probobly know it, cant fight the
moonlight by Lee Ann Rimes?
Well, I loved the coyote ugly movie and brought the cd.
Cant fight the moon light means that you cant run from
you`re self. And that`s what Im doing when I sleep all the
Its time to go home girl, and I used to know where I

So Im going back, its not enught just to see them at the
mall, when er`re all in a hurry.
I know a hole lot of the pepole who went waay in about the
same time I did has come back. And it would be nice to be
tougheter all agen.
Ofcourse it wont be the same. But I will be good, safe, and
some fun.
So Im going back, I know I`ve said that for a while now,
but really Im gonna go back there.
Me and Miguel probobly need to do some talking, but Im
ready for it now.
That was just one of the things I runed way from.