Geoff

Geoff
2002-01-24 04:28:35 (UTC)

title

After three days of pretty severe depression, I think
I'm pulling myself out. And that's a very good feeling. I
had all these dreadful thoughts and feelings, pretty
intensely for a few days. But between a few friends
letting me know that they're here for me and a lot of
meditation, I think I've actually found a way to control my
depression. It's plagued me as long as I can remember, and
if I've found a way to make a normal life out of this, I'm
ecstatic.
I think I did a pretty good job at concealing everything
these past few days. When you feel like I have lately, you
really don't want to let everyone know how bad it is,
because it bums other people and makes them worry. So I
smiled like I always do, and I don't think anyone suspected
anything. It kind of makes me feel good to get more
control over things and not cry on everyone's shoulder.
We're having a poetry jam at my house this Friday. I
tried to write a little today. It was awful, but at least
I wrote again. I've had the worst writer's block these
past few weeks. I think this poetry thing will do me good,
though. I've been neglecting poetry while trying to write
this book, and I need to get back into it.
So the dance is coming up. I really don't want to go,
but I'll support Mason at all costs. Everything is crazy,
and I really hate dances. Prom tickets are going on sell
and I'm really stressing. I know everyone wants to
remember their prom, but I really don't want to go. It
seems so silly, but I know I'll feel bad when I get old if
I miss it.
Well, now comes the confusion in crawling out of
depression. The strange feelings, aftershocks...etc. I
think I'll be okay, though, and this may be a really happy
time if I just let it.




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