psychomagnet

sleeptodreamher
2002-01-24 02:34:16 (UTC)

baby lay your head on my lap one last time...

tell me you belong to me,
baby say its all guna be alright,
i believe that it isnt.

so today was weird. i was up all night really sick,
coughing, i finally got up at 530 and couldnt get back to
sleep for anything... so i developed pictures in graphics
of sarah, caroline took them all out of focus and they were
dark but whatever i could have taken them myself i guess.
but still i was a little mad that they didnt come out,
then it was okay cus the day went fast and all 3 of my
tests were postponed. anyway so as the day went on my
breathing got worse and worse, and in 6th period i couldnt
even take a full breath, like now its still really bad my
head hurts like so bad and my chest hurts and it sucks so
much... anyway so after school matt came over and we went
to his bank and to get cat wormer for my baby, then we
came back to my house to get his car so i could go to work
and i fucking call caroline to see where she is and her car
broke down at petsmart, 5 seconds away from where we just
were and i guess she didnt think to call me, or even just
to tell me she wasnt fucking going to work or anything and
i was pissed but we went down there anyway and she was a
REAL bitch to me like hardcore i do not understand.. so
whatever you know, then i decided no way was i going to
work cus it hurt so bad by then and so we stopped and
bought some generic inhaler for "bronchial asthma" which
doesnt do shit for me, then we drove around, stopped by the
house to get some number for caroline, then he bought me
coffee and we sat and talked for an hour or two, it was
really nice...

hes like "obviously, OBVIOUSLY i wont be happy if you leave
but if thats what you want i cant stand in your way and i
know if i say hey dont go, you really wont." and i was
like youre right i wouldnt and hes like see thats
ridiculous you do everything for other people this is a big
thing do it for yourself we WILL keep in touch adrienne
most people i wont but i wont just let you leave and never
see you or talk to you again, we'll write call send cards
its okay, and i dont care where you are, if you ever call
me up and youre in trouble i'll BE there... and i was like
youre guna be busy with school and meeting new people and
hes like so new people are new people they have nothing to
do with it and i was like yeah matt if you were getting
some ass from diana would you even bother talking to me and
hes like whatever shes hot but i hope you know that if it
came down to you or her, it would be you, dont be
ridiculous. then we were talking about battle of the bands
and i was like yeah navins playing with richard and adam
and hes like WHAT IF I SEE THAT MOTHERFUCKER I'LL FUCKING
KILL HIM and he got ALL mad and i was like matt that was
like a year ago and hes like I DONT GIVE A FUCK LET HIM SAY
ONE WORD TO ME I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN
KILL HIM...
and then we were talking about how im clean and stuf and
hes like yeah at least now i know, and i know that if you
are i am, and i was like really... and hes like yes
adrienne and we started talking about that night at ericas
and hes like "even ask dawn, when she started kissing me i
was like no i made a promise that i dont intend to break."
and i was like "yeah when you told me once that thinking
about me being with someone else made you want to puke and
kill them, i thought you were just being dramatic, but no..
its true." and hes like yeah it is.. all this doesnt seem
to fade, does it? and i was like no it doesnt and hes like
so much has happened in high school and i was like yeah i
cant say i wouldnt do a few things differently and hes like
yeah i would have done a thing or two differently.. and i
was like what and he was like nevermind.

its good, its good that we're getting along its good that
we can be "close" again he said, its not good that
carolines being such a well, bitch, and its not good that i
cant breathe. its not good that i have 3 tests and 2
projects tomorrow that i have not done. and i missed work
again. and i have NO NO NO money in my bank account. AGH I
WANT TO SLEEP FOR A LONG LONG TIME. im guna go sleep.




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