AnGeLbAbiE

Cooties, HappyMeals, & One Size Fits All
2002-01-24 01:42:43 (UTC)

Post-Breakup Weirdness!!

OK so I get to school today and *gasp!* Ben actually speaks
words to me...as I recall he said something to the effect
of..."Can I borrow a pen?"...big wÖw...thats all we
said...he could have asked anyone around him but NO he
hollers up the aisle and asks me...it was pretty
funny...then in chemistry he didn't talk to me at first, we
were doin work, and he was over with "tha guys" and when
they needed an answer, THEN he comes to me, yeah...I was
like umm yea its cool how you only talk to me now if you
need somethin from me! Then he left and came back over to
tell me bout how he got hit by a truck yesterday...and when
I stopped payin attention to him he started talkin to the
guys again but then he kept hangin' around my desk like I
was gonna talk to him or somethin and I wasn't plannin on
it...I went over to talk to muh girls haha and he and his
boys came over near us so I was like ummm...k? Newayz, I
thought I had wanted him to come talk to me in there....but
once he did...it was just awkward, we haven't really talked
like we used to since we broke up...we used to have fun, we
looked forward to 7th period so we could talk and jus chill
cuz we had a lot of fun together...now it jus...kinda
hurts, he's got "I LOVE ASH" (his NEW Ash g/f) written all
over his hands and its like when we're talking, we've got
this whole break up thing hangin over us, and we can't
forget it...we don't talk about it but its always just
THERE, and it makes me uncomfortable...I don't think I'm
gonna fall for him again, I suddenly noticed today
how...annoying and retarded he is sometimes...I think I
WANT to be friends with him its just so hard now...we never
talk outside school, I know he prob. spends all his time
talking to Ashley...he's never online and we never talk on
the phone...oh...but you know how when someone likes you
they kinda get that...LOOK in their eyes when you're
talking to them? Like especially when they're smiling or
laughing or something...I can't explain it, but you their
eyes look...different...I had always noticed it about him
when we were talking while we were kinda "talking/dating" I
guess you could say...when he laughed or smiled, he'd just
light up ya know? I did that too, when I liked him...I see
it in his eyes when he's with Ashley like all the
time...never with anyone else really...well we were talking
today and he did it a few times and I was like uh oh I
dunno what that means....I mean, he's perty much in love
with Ashley I think but...I never really gave him a REASON
not to like me anymore, I didn't do anything to make him
wanna break up with me, we only broke up cuz he wasn't over
Ashley, he was even more in love with her than with me I
guess (it used to be the other way around when they were
going out, he always liked me more and he told me and
everyone that)...so I dunno if he still has any feelings
toward me whatsoever...I didn't DO anything to him so I
dunno why he would all of a sudden not like me ya kno? (I
kno that sounds...conceited or somethin but u kno wut I'm
sayin...) I mean I still liked him a while after we broke
up and he did awful stuff to me...if I did NOTHING to him
and he was in love with me one day I dunno why the next day
he wouldn't at least like me a little u know? I kinda hope
he does, just to...mess with him ya kno haha...I don't
think he's the person for me so I don't think I'd ever go
back out with him...but it still feels good to have a guy
thats just wrongly broken up with you want u back haha!!!
Newayz...oh Heather was making me kinda mad in health today
ughh...she's always got something bad to say bout
someone!!! I'm like omg Heather shut up just cuz your life
sucks cuz you're negative doesn't mean you gotta find
something wrong with everyone else!! Today she was talking
about how she thinks a certain 2 of our friends are
lesbians cuz of what a certain other of our friends who has
no clue wut she's talkin about said they took a shower
together or something and they're always together...she
named a few people that the person had told and they'd all
talked about it I guess...it made me mad cuz I don't want
rumors started about them...our school is the worst about
rumors....and I know they aren't lesbians anyway omg...I
doubt they even took that shower together cuz I kno them
and that just doesn't seem like something they would do ya
kno...well Heather was convinced they did and that
stuff "happened" (I KNOW nothin "happened" they're soooooo
not like that) and I was like I doubt that really happened
Heather, don't say anything bout it to anyone, I'm sure
they aren't gay...she was like well they could be bi and I
was like they aren't, trust me! It just made me kinda mad
that she would say something like that about them...I know
its not true...if she is that concerned about them, she
needs to go to one of them about it and ask them herself,
and not talk bout it and spread rumors!! She is so
annoying sometimes...neways I gg...ttyl...bye!
~*~Ashley~*~
P.S. If I have offended any homosexuals by thinking that
its not OK to be gay or bi or whatever, get over it cuz its
not OK...if you have the right to express yourself and say
its ok and can have a big freakin gay parade over it, I can
have the right to express my opinion too. =0)




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