2002-01-24 00:23:24 (UTC)

If Only It Were That Easy

Wouldn't it be nice if you could will someone to call you?
Like if you could just stare at the phone and think about
someone really hard and it would make them dial your
number. I wish that could happen. Okay, I have a crush on
Taylor now. (He's the guitarist from my band.) I really
like him. I have a lot of fun with him. Although, I have no
idea if he would be interested in me. He might think I'm a
total air-head. I hope not. Well, I really want to call him
right now. Well, actually, I want him to call me. I called
him on Monday and asked him to come over. Then, I went over
to his house yesterday. So, if I called him again tonight,
wouldn't that be too much? I don't want to seem too over-
zealous or anything. I'll just ask him at school tomorrow.
Now, he knows I have a boyfriend. And I just don't know
what to do about Mikal. I love him and all, but I really
don't think that I'm IN love with him anymore. Everything
was so perfect and so wondeful, but now everything is old.
He treats like I'm nothing special. It's almost as if we're
just dating out of habbit. I know I don't need him. But I
like him. I enjoy being with him. And when you break up
with someone, everything gets all weird. I don't want to
totally break up with him. I just want to back off a
little. I want to be able to date other people, too.
Everything sounds so nice in theory, but nothing works that
way. I don't want to wind up hating each other. We're going
to be going to Disney World together Spring Break. It will
be our one year anniversary. I want to be together for
that. I just feel like I'm his friend more so than his girl
friend. And I want to always be his friend. His friend with
benefits. He is such of a good kisser. I would miss
that. :o) He's gone away for awhile. He's visiting his
sister. And I can't say that I really miss him that much.
I'm fine without him. I'd like to be able to have something
to do, but I mean, I could do something with Taylor just as
easily. If Taylor and I were dating, that is. Oh, I want to
call him. But I don't. I really like talking to him. I
don't ever remember ever actually wanting to call up a guy
just to talk. He's my friend. Now, if we started dating, I
wouldn't want things to get weird between us if we broke up
either. I want to be able to keep all of my friends. But I
want to date several guys, too. I want to be able to have
some casual affairs with cute strangers. Nothing serious.
Then, have someone I really care about to come home to. But
I guess life doesn't work that way. I would be so jealous
if my guy had multiple relationships. Girls should be able
to be polygamous! (LOL)Oh, I just don't know what to do.

Ad: 0
DigitalOcean Referral Badge