CiennaLarylle

Craving "deep" conversation

I guess that is a good name for this entry but I'm not
completely sure. I really need to have a good long talk
with many people, and to have fun conversation that just
lasts hours. BUT, I won't talk to those I need to and I
can't seem to find the other.

Well this is why I need to talk to people.
A) I like one of my best friends and I am a pussy and am
afraid to tell them my feelings.
B) The person I like was the person whom I had great
conversations with. *shit, why do I fuck up good things*
C) I have been avoiding another friends, as I becasue sick
of them for a while but, I beleive fedupness is over. I am
lazy though and they are relatively hard to get ahold of
since they are in highschool.
and
D) I crave contact with others. (Me need knew things to
entertain me.)

It is a good thing I am going to school in a few days so
won't be so bad.

Roar.

On an off note. . . I realised I still have not shown my
newer friends me. The real me. I think it has most to do
with that I feel as though I have to constantly be
entertaining to these people, like I'm in the center ring
being analyzed in critical detail. This is no fun.
Although in the last week or so it doesn't seem as bad, but
I still feel this way. What to do what to do.

I hope to get to know my friends a little better and find
new ones this semester, but the latter seems nto very
likely as Stratech SUCKS!!!! *I am not bitter to be going
to a community college, at all.*

Alrighty enough ranting of sorts for now.