someone you cannot know

yesterday i called for her; tomorrow i'll forget

i hesitate to look, at times,
as what is yours may have been mine,
but for the ambiguous hand of fate
and the stroke of luck that came too late
to smooth your skin, to heal your scars,
to brighten eyes that lost their spark
tepidly, i reach to you,
yet turn my back as you come through
i beat myself half-heartedly
the other half doesn't know you,
but the first half knows nothing
other than an image of you,
unconscious in any state,
next to the phone, ringing