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2002-01-22 04:46:45 (UTC)

what are these all about

Have you ever had something that you knew was so wrong but
you were doign it anyway, no matter how much it hurt you.
Being wrong never felt so right, but then agin were do you
go when you dont see anything clear a head of you, and all
you want it to go back? Im so lost this evening, this whole
day, news about Nikki which god knows is gonna bother me to
hell and back. And then you have katie calling again. I can
tell you that I honestly expected her to be the last person
calling. But then she did, and she was sweet again, and she
broke my heart again, I dont knwo if shes just doing this
on purpose or if its no just getting rutine for her so she
doesnt even notice it anymore. everyone always longs for
the past, but thats why its the past, what we cant have we
cant resist. I still love her im not gonna lie and im not
gonna pretend I dont anymore, but I dont know where to go
from here, I need guidance. Pain doesnt subside, and I dont
have an excape anymore. I dont know what to do. I go day by
day, trying to find teh good in this world but I still feel
there is none, and that hurts so bad. I want to know why
she does this to me.....

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