2002-01-22 04:18:46 (UTC)

i'd change everything

I broke up with him on friday and it went pretty well... so
I was pretty happy about that. Things are OK in that
department right now. Also found out that my former friend
who's a huge bitch got dumped by her boyfriend who she used
me to get to. I was kind of pleased by that in a sick kind
of way... but i guess it's sorta ok cuz she was a real
bitch to me. Now she can't hang out with my ex anymore
either since his friend dumped her i really dont think
he'll want her around. Maybe she sort of has a bit of an
idea what it was like when I went through it and she
treated me like shit. :P whatever. she's a bitch and she
deserves what she gets.
i've been feeling pretty low again lately and i'm not
really sure why. Part of it i think is that i've realized
that i don't really like anyone. I seriously have some sort
of thing where guys in general are just not appealing to
me. i think they're cute & i leer at them at first and
stuff but then there's nothing when i talk to anyome... i
think what happened with the ex had more of an effect than
i expected. i knew i didn't really trust guys at all but
this is more than i expected, i can't even LIKE them. Since
the ex dumped me i really haven't LIKED anyone. This is
just fucking stupid. It's been like, 10 months -- almost 11
since things with the ex ended. I dont know why he got to
wreck my life. i wish it never happened. i seriously do. if
i had never met him, i would be so much better off. if i
could go back, i'd change everything.