Pink Flowers

My Virginity

.....its gone.....all gone....I was asleep on the couch
and then next thing I know William and Nick are over at my
house waking me up and telling me to come with them to
help them study. So i got up and went with them. Well I
rode over there with William and he was telling me to get
him up and play with his dick and all this shit. I told
him that I wasn't going to so anything cause I had had an
awful day. Everyone was saying shit to me about what
happened with Anthony. And, William was one of the main
ones. So anyway, we got to William's and I called and
made sure Lauren was coming. So while we were waiting
William was telling me all of this shit about how he
wanted to fuck me and everything else. I said no and then
he asked if he could just stick it in once......so agreed
to that, and so he did. I went up to the loft with him
and he did. Well then we went to go pick up Lauren. We
also got some condoms on the way. Once we got back to
William's everyone gotr in the hot tub and it all started
up....I was with William and Nick was with Lauren. Well
we got out shortly and left Nick and Lauren there. We
went to Williams room ans finished. It kinda hurt, but
whatever. This is a sad day. I don't know why I did
that.....and I know my parents would be so upset with me.
I have gone against all of my childhood morals and
values. I have let my self worth drop so low that I am
now on a level where I just let William fuck me. I want
to cut myself....I want to let blood run all over me and I
just want to dissapear......forever. I have gotten so
low! I am never going to have a relationship. I will
always be the easy fuck........goodbye, goodbye my
cherished childhood.....there is now nothing left.