question marked innocense
Ad 0:
2002-01-21 23:45:00 (UTC)

~*~*~*~*~i'Ll Be ThAt BuRdEn YoU bEaR~*~*~*~*~

Mood: pissed off
Music: finger 11: the first time

Its weird now that I think about it.... the one person who
should be makeing me feel better is the one who is makeing
me feel like shit. Wow the irony in all that. Like I don't
even understand why Devon's with me. He sure doesn't seem
to want to be, so why is he? Like fuck last night I was in
the worst mood I was so close to the edge you wouldn't
believe and like at lunch I was talking to my friend Alicia
and I was almost crying. And after wards my friend Steve is
like "whats wrong" and I'm like "nothing" and its fucked up
that my friend notices that something is wrong before my
own fucking b/f. Like I could have been sitting there
cutting myself and I dont even think he would have noticed.
During school today he didn't say anything to me, we didn't
even talk yet my friend Jessie got a hug out of him and I
didn't get even 2 fucking words! It just makes me so
fucking mad. But I don't know who I'm madder at, me or him.
Im mad at him for staying with me when he obviously doesnt
really want to, and I'm mad at me for caring about him as
much as I do. And I'm mad at the fact that he'll never feel
the same way about me as I feel about him. Like I know he
doesn't like to express hes feelings, thats fine, I tend to
hide my feelings alot to but fuck at least a hello, how are
you? Would be nice.... but no I guess thats to much to
later daze

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