Little Bird

I get to work this AM and find..

I get to work this AM and find 52 new e-mails, of course
the majority of them come from my bestest friend…all
forwarded chain/information.
I feel SO BAD about yesterday! My phone was turned off and
I was sposed to meet her for lunch. I think stalker called
while I was checking my messages. My friend’s 15-year-old
daughter who is living with a LK (who was shot 6 times
while he was ‘just sitting at the park’) had her baby. I
think that prompted my mother to use my phone to call AZ
and run my bill up for me.
Yes, we had to deal w/her. Albert had a case of the ‘oh-my-
god-its-a-holiday’ chills or something. Then my family
decided that we were going out to eat, last minute, no
reservations. The restaurant wasn’t packed, thank god, and
we got to sit near some very nice Greek scenery.

My ‘stomach’ has been hurting really bad, like it’s on
fire/being scratched w/tiny needles from the inside. It
hurts more now than it did 2 weeks ago. It also feels like
all of the muscles are detached/stretched, like after
you’ve just given birth. I think it’s my fault though. I’ve
been walking for an hour and then riding an excersize bike
for ½ hour every night for a week. Doesn’t sound like much
but after surgery it’s hard. The other day when I rode
Comet I started to bleed…which pissed me off because it’s
been 2 weeks, I’m sposed to be ‘normal’. I was hurting so
bad the other night that I was praying I could just die. Of
course the doctors orders are to take it easy but it’s hard
for me I guess.

Friday night I’m babysitting. I will have to get back to
you on the details of what house etc.

There was something else I wanted to tell you but it’s
escaping me at the moment.

my phone should be on soon. i FINALLY was able to get a
payment in via the web. i sat on hold for 20 mins yesterday
trying to pay. when i finally got thru they said they were
having problems taking pymnt by phone.

hurts/ takes up alot of energy to type right now. I never
liked being human. I wish I could type all day w/o pain.

i just gave the phone peeps another $50 so it should come
on. if not, i will $50 them to death. i'm sick of them!
they just sent me a letter saying there are no more turn
offs due to a good payment history.

She seem(ed) worried/stressed not only because of the
kook...enough to make herself sick (?) and she’s not
letting me in on why.

last night went way too fast...maybe because i enjoy being
around her :)
she better be prepared to ride 'next time'.

when she left i just hung around and stared at the mares.
ch was making st nervous because of the things he was
saying while she were there (about not being able to get
his work done blah blah blah). st tried to talk to me a
little bit but i was watching ch and i guess st thought i
gave him a dirty look so he just kinda left.
OH WELL!

i need a...man...who can tell me/himself NO when i feel
like i am being seductive-ish. (kinda off the st/ch track)
BUT the man also needs to know hes saying NO, not just get
all weird/not try to figure out what im doing and walk away.
ch always seems to know how to get things...maybe i'll ask
him if he will pick me up a boyfriend.
I’m getting bored being in lust with people who can’t
control themselves/me.

I talked to one of my contacts in Germany today. We’ve been
e-mailing about work related issues but I am SO glad he
called because I was REALLY starting to wonder about him. I
wasn’t sure if I could be silly or not. He seems VERY nice.
I hope he comes to IL sometime SOON…and would like to play
with me.