2002-01-21 20:56:29 (UTC)

Missing You

The how-to-raise baby books don't tell everything, you know.
Oh, they gave me lists of developmental milestones and when
to call the doctor and how to burp them correctly and what
shots they should get and when but they missed the most
important things.

They didn't warn me how I'd melt when my first-born gave me
his first real smile. They didn't tell me to write down all
those cute things they said and did when they were toddlers
or I'd forget them even if I thought at the time I wouldn't.
They're are no descriptions of what it was like to have a
three year old hand me a big handful of dandelions he'd
picked or what it felt like when he put his chubby little
arms around my neck to give me a big hug or a peanut butter
and jelly sticky sweet kiss.

Most of all there's nothing in those books about what it's
like when they grow up and leave home. No one told me about
the grief I'd feel but it's not something I can really
complain about because that was the whole point.I began
telling them good-bye the day they were born.

I still miss those boys though.