bluff before i

my life, my world, my mind, my soul
2002-01-21 08:29:56 (UTC)

why do i feel so good??

i'm feeling great..i'm feeling inspired..or something like
that..but why??..i'm so sick..sore throat and everything..

yesterday was winter formal..food was okay..music sucked..i
got to sit down this time..
i went with jeremy and we had fun..or at least i know that
i did..jeremy is so funny..he dances fun..i loved spending
time with him..
i felt really bad though when he told me that i didn't want
to kiss him..i really couldn't hear him because of the
music and at first i thought he told me that he didn't want
to kiss me..but he told me that he thought that i didn't
want to kiss him..i asked him why he thought
that..confusion..he said because i pulled away..i couldn't
turn my neck around far enough..darnit..haha..but after
that we did kiss..we kissed a lot too..and there was even a
time where my cousin and the group of people he was sitting
with were watching..it was embarressing..they are all in
band with me and then they were making fun of us(they all
know that jeremy is the first guy that i've kissed)..it was
funny though because all they said was to breath..lol..we
do breath!!..
we got there in a limo..it was kind of small..we stuffed
ten people in it..and i got glitter all over jeremy..my
cousin decided to put glitter crap in my hair..coming home
though..woah..it was one of those navigator limos..it was
so cool...we got to ride home in one of those..
when me and jeremy were sitting down..i guess we were
watching everyone come in because we said something about a
lot of people who walked in..jeremy thought that this guy
that i don't know was cool..mostly because of his amazing
afro..it was cool..jeremy told me to take a picture of
him..so i did and he looked at me funny..i should have
gotten a better picture though...it would have been cool..
pictures were cool...but not while we were at
home..everyone was in the room and there were like 8
different cameras flashing at one time..jeremy said it was
like radiohead..all of the publicity that they get..it felt
weird.
i forget what to say about formal..but after formal we went
to dennys and ate again..eww..jeremy you owe me a
dollar!!..we were laying out on the booth and my dad walked
in..so embarressing..thank God me and jeremy weren't making
out or anything when he walked in..i felt myself go red in
the face..i didn't get in trouble though..which is good.
i'll let you add stuff jeremy..i don't know what to
write..you can finish up the night..

today i went out to lunch with my family..there was a
magician and it was cool..he did some really cool
stuff..but he kept starring at me funny.. uncomfortable..
(oh yeah that reminds me..the waitress at dennys was
starring at me and kat..she was a lesbian)..good food at
that restaurant..

i came right home after that..and i've been online since
like 3:00..i've downloaded music..and sent a lot of good
stuff out..but unfortunately the person i sent it to didn't
like any of it..oh well..

woops!..i accidently left out the important stuff about
formal..

i think that kat and norby are back together..if they are
i'm glad..if they're not then i'm confused because they
kept making out all night..

jeremy looked so nice last night..very sharp..handsome..my
heart was beating so fast when i saw him..i was so
nervous..he looked nice in his suit..he wore his pumas
again..he went comfortable.. his hair looked different that
day..but it was the same as always..i couldn't get over how
nice he looked..woah..i just got butterflies thinking back
about it..

i guess he'll always be beautiful in my eyes..


me and jeremy were talking a little today..i found feelings
for him that i never knew i had..i told him that i'm proud
of him..i'm proud of him for more than one reason..he's a
special guy..he'll do great..i know he will..

jeremy..follow your dream..

life is good..i just never realized it..there is so much
beauty..you just have to look at the stuff worth looking
at..and forget about all the bad..and once you do..you'll
just get so used to things the way they are and then it'll
be like that bad was never there in the first place..

i don't have many friends..but i'm happy to have the ones i
have..

i must live up to that.




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