Pink Flowers

Pink Flowers
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2002-01-21 05:05:43 (UTC)

My Shitty Life as of Now...

Well that was fun.....I just got back from Moises'
aunt's and I now feel like shit! Alex and Mo were there
and Alex was all fucking over me! I mean I did everything
I could to keep him off of me! I even fed him all of that
shit about how I need to get to know him and how nothing
was going to happen tonight because I have school tomarrow
and I don't want to have to think about what had
happened. Then he was all like oh just don't
think......first of all I don't like him! And
secondly...I am a very fucked up person! He doesn't need
to get involved with me.....hell fuck that! I don't want
to get involved with him!!! I have given up on guys! I
never want to be with a guy again! There are two types
that I always get stuck with and I am so sick of it!
There comes a point when it all gets too emotionally
stressful! There are those guys like William who just use
me and then lose me....then there are those guys like Alex
who I just flat out don't like and have to pry them off of
me.....that just makes me feel shitty. I am good enough
to be a whore and nasty enough for guys like Alex to think
that they can get with me. So yeah.....that is who I am.
Then there is my whole home life. Two people posing
as parents live in a house with two children. The younger
one pretends he has his shit together......but I wonder if
he really does.....he goes through life acting as the
person people want him to be. The older one has just
fucked up.......she was obviousl just a mistake. The
relationship of the parents has gradually deteriorated
over the years to evolve into a comfortably numb and
plastic living situation.....which will be fucked with
shortly causing the whole "family" to be drivrn into a
state of havock....won't that be exiting. Yeah, my family
is sick! The wife is finally finding herself......the
father will remain in his world....there really isn't any
hope there for him....everyone has just accepted that and
moved on. The daughter is slowly dying. And, becoming a
fat slut! Who really knows about the son.....he probably
thinks he can crawl out of his whole and still has those
childish dreams......wish I could be like that.

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