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2002-01-21 05:03:57 (UTC)


Well last nite, me, Dee, Jacan, and Danielle got a room to
just chill out and laugh. It was pretty straight. It was
kind of relaxing too. We rode around for a while last nite.
Man, Milledgeville is too boring. It honestly doesn't make
sense to be this boring. But anyway, Brian more than likely
won't be mentioned in my entries anymore because I've found
him out. Okay, today we went to the apartment where they
were staying. Well, Brian left to go home right after he
dropped me off Friday. Donta was the only one who stayed
here. Niggas run their mouths so easily. We got all the
info. we needed. Alright, Brian does have a girlfriend.
NOW, did I not think that in the past. ***Jocelyn, never
second guess your instinct!*** I knew it all along, so
that's why I didn't care when I "holla-ed" at Daryll right
in front of his face! First of all, I don't belong to
anyone! Donta said that Brian got kind of upset about what
I did. How the fuck can you be upset with someone that you
don't go with and THEN you have a girlfriend! SHUT THE FUCK
UP BRIAN! I swear, that is some funny shit when I think
about it. I'm straight. I honestly don't care about it. I
mean, I prepared myself for this anyway. And I really
didn't like Brian anyway. Now, if I sound upset, then it's
not for my situation. The most fucked up thing is that the
dude that Jacan was talking to, Torre, has a girlfriend
too. See, what makes this situation messed up is the fact
that Jacan was falling for him and it seemed as though he
was falling for her too. I just feel bad because I kept
telling Jacan to talk to him. I thought he was the real
one, but I guess not. Niggas! They are truly a big mess.
There is no love lost or anything. I trip out with those
boys, but forget anything else. It was really messed up
that we had to find out like that. I don't hold anything
against Brian because....come on now.....did you honestly
think I liked him. He was cute to me, but that's it. Well,
like one of those niggas say.....FUCK ALL DAT!

Anyway, I talked to my baby last nite!!!!! I admitted to
Jacan that I do like Kellen. I mean, I do.....BUT(damn,
buts!) I know I will never have him. That's why I don't go
on and on about how much I like him. I can't do anything
about it. I don't know what it is about him though. I think
it's the way he talks to me. Like, when we are on the
phone, I'll say something and then he'll just say my
name....for no reason. He's got me doing that too. I call
out his name so much(hey, that thought is nice! ;) But I
can't let this whole "liking Kellen" thing get under my
skin because he's over 1,000 miles away from me and he has
a girlfriend. How do you get someone in those
circumstances? If you know the answer, help a sista
out.......PLEASE! That boy has my mind gone.....all the way!

Introducing, MS. JMIL

Kellen is KMIL, which is made by Kellen - ellen, the MIL
from his last name, Miliner......therefore, you get JMIL in
the same equation....you know....Jocelyn - ocelyn, the
new last name(smiles)......J/K!! :p

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