kajira

not set
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2002-01-21 03:52:47 (UTC)

January 20, 2002 what Mistress is thinking

2002-01-20 16:49:04 (GMT)

what Mistress is thinking

well boy today is Sunday and I been doing a lot of thinking
about
everything, and I am going to start this entry and
probably either
keep adding to it all day as my head clears or make several
entrys
for today..

Ok first thing first, just in case you have gotten a few
q's from
ppl, yes, i put your name on my name in q, was misserable,
thinking
about you and U.us and well i went afk and forgot about
it,, came
back to a couple of q's and i explained to each and every
one of
them, I was just playing around, dreaming because I cared
so much for
you..

Each one explained to me that I need to forget you and move
on
because you had told them all that you were not interested
in me and
would never be with me.. boy do you have any idea how bad
that hurt
me, with me knowing the truth and i can't say a word about
it?

I have come to a few conclusions and decisions but do I
tell you them
or how I came to them first,

First things first,, I luv you my boy,, I luv you as a
person, as
who and what you are, even the Dom that still lives inside
of you
even if it is a small amount hon it is still there.

Second, boy I never want to take your friends from you or
come
between you and them, but hon if they are your true friends
then they
will support you and accept you for who you are or even
who you are
with.

Third, boy I feel like I am nothing but a play toy for
you, just a
person to full fill your desire to be controlled to be
Dommed.

Now the way I see this is, that you want to be my boy,,
and keep
your I-D of Darius, I have no problem with that,, but hon,
i want to
also be a part of your life as Darius. When I say that I
am in this
for GOOD,, I mean ALL of it.. Lani~ron and Lani~Darius.

Sweetie alone with you wanting to protect your ID of Darius
and keep
that name in good standings, I also want to protect the
name of
Lani,, and right now, well the word and thoughts of my name
isn't
going good and I have to change that. I don't like having
to hold
back my feelings for you with certain ppl, it isn't fair to
me. And
if I let it slip that i luv you, well they all laugh behind
my back,
then tell me to my face that you have told them you want
nothing to
do with me. How does this make Lani look boy,, 'like a
first class
fool'.

Now this is my proposition for you,, keep you in my
collar, we can
travel to choice palaces as Mistress/boy or just go to our
private
lil place, and also as a 'couple' travel to other
places.. Lani~ron
and Lani~Darius, or Darius~lani, hell i don't care I just
want to
find us a happy middle ground here.





2002-01-20 19:24:13 (GMT)

update

Just saw you come back online with the X button on name in
q,, i just made a update to the journal entry, so when you
finished reading it, go back and reload it to make sure you
got the whole thing,, I will be in my place,, the addy
is....12.8.135.164:9998)... if you still want to talk to me
can find me there,, time now is 2:28 pm,, i luv you boy



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