kajira

January 17, 2002 Well it has been two days,

2002-01-17 19:17:11 (GMT)

day two

Well it has been two days, and not only is my online life
like shit right now, things not going well in offline
either.. Offline will work out tho, no one is sick and
that i am thankful for major time.

I saw my boy in q a lil while this morning, talked to him,
and i hopeed helped him to see a few things. I wonder if
it is possible to luv my boy and yet still not be happy,
because that is what i feel right now.

I remember being a sub, gawd, my every moment online was
trying to please my Master with every thing i said and
did. When I was with him, gawd, He stayed on a pedistal,
and no I wasn't just sucking up, I meant every one I spoke
to him. I leanrt how to make web pages just so I could
make one for Him,, I spent time learning all I could at
being submissive. Yes I had my limits that I wouldn't
cross and He accpeted that.

I told my boy to do a lot of thinking today before we meet
and talk tonight because I want this settled tonight. I
luv him a lot but things have got to change between the two
of us,, I know I have to stop letting him top from the
bottom, I know that I have to realize, he isn't me, he
will not be the same type of sub i was and he will do
things different. I know that I have to learn to punish
him from my heart even tho it will hurt not just him but me
also.