mental illness, yes it is real..

isn't life grand ??
2002-01-21 00:46:30 (UTC)

W T F.......

well, lets see, we could title this, my life on a roller
coaster..... just when i think things are getting better
for lisa & i , it all goes to hell, and as always , it's my
fault...... was on phone w/her when i told her that i had
printed up a pre-nup agreement, and she went balistic.
she wants nothing to do w/me now, says i think she is a
golddigger, and that i think she is just out to get my
money, (which i have none). All i was trying to do is to
protect the future of my children in case something should
happen , as no one can predict future . I truly love lisa
with all my heart, i just want to be certain everything is
done right, i have been burnt too many times.
everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and mine is
that anyone getting married for 2nd time should have a pre-
nup, especially if they have kids.....
BUT --- as usual , everything i say & do gets me into
trouble, plain & simply put -- MY LIFE SUCKS !!!
we used to be able to be happy, but now i cant do one damn
thing right....why should i even bother to try anymore???
it seems more i try to do thing right, more i screw them
up.. im really pretty much certain that i have no future of
happiness.... maybe i should run away, just up & leave
everything & everyone behind, attempt to make new life far
away, down south ? or out west ?? which is better ????
i am sick of the constant pain..... mental anguish is
starting to take toll... i know my kids will miss me, but
if this keeps up, why the hell should i stay around ???
is happiness that elusive ???