lissa13

Lissa!
2002-01-20 03:31:59 (UTC)

Back to Berkeley

Coming back here was really weird. It felt completely new
for some reason, like last semester never even happened.
My friend was saying that coming back felt like coming home
for him, but it just wasn't like that for me. I'm in a
really weird sort of rut right now, and I can't even think
about school. Ick. Hopefully this will pass, and quickly.

I'm finding myself really really lonely. Even though
everyone was gone by the end of my break, being home in
general was somehow comforting, and I felt nearer to
everyone. Now I feel really isolated and am desperately
missing my friends and HAVING FUN!

The past couple days got really busy suddenly. Thursday,
in sum, was more shopping and more food. I have definitely
proven incapable of stopping my spending... I'm kind of
freaked out by this whole money thing suddenly, so I have
to try harder. Riiiight.

I went to visit some friends at U of Chicago on Thursday
evening. One girl I know from LA 2 summers ago. She's
really sweet, but absolutely hates it there and is
transferring next year (we of course had an interesting
convo along those lines). She actually didn't know what
she was getting into! At this point I have to really thank
everyone for telling me I was insane to think, even for a
SECOND, about whether I should go to U of C. I remember
people saying "You're way too social" and "It would suck
the life out of you!" So no matter what I'm dealing with,
I've found another school to add to my Worse than Berkeley
list.

The people at U of C think they're all intellectual and
shit that would probably piss me off to an extreme. My
friend was telling me that in her Hum class the other day,
some guy took a deep breath, paused, and announced: "I have
discovered the meaning of life in Antigone," followed by
much appreciative nodding by the rest of the class.
Riiight. Suicide? I think so. I have to wonder about
Shiv, too. Poor girl. The school is no place for a
homecoming queen...

Another thing that's been freaking me out is my scary
recent experiences at tollbooths. Is this just me? I lost
my I-pass thingy, so I've been going through the regular
manual lanes and the people are scary!
Episode #1:
I give my money to the guy and he just stares at me with
this really drugged-out, psycho glazed-over look in his
eyes. I'm like ok, just give me my damn money. Finally,
he goes, real slow... "You're really beautiful. You're
beautiful. Me: "Thanks!" *speed away, very frightened*
Episode #2:
Very cheerful guy: "How you doin today?"
Me: I'm good, thanks
Guy: You lookin good, too
Me: Uh, thanks... Have a nice day! *speed away, very
frightened*
Episode #3:
Guy takes money. "You're a princess, aren't you? Yeah,
I know it. You can't fool me by driving a car!" Me:
*speed away, very frightened*

So I'm obviously going to get made fun of for my tollbooth
guy- experiences, but seriously now, what's going on?
Whatever happened to the people that grabbed your money and
shoved the change in your hand, ignoring all attempts on
your part to be nice and giving you a cold stare? I know
that was a little harsh, but it was somehow a lot less
frightening.

So what else have I been up to? A little bit of downtown,
including the perfection of two very critical skills on my
part: a) city driving- I'm doing an excellent job at being
both aggressive and obnoxiously bad- the key to success, b)
parallel parking! that's right guys! 2 for 2!!! hahaha

And then there was my little trip to the lovely state of
Indiana... ok, maybe not so "little" or so "lovely"... A
total of 500 miles and about 6.5 hours or so and I had
myself a nice visit to DePauw. It actually was nice, I'm
not kidding there. I even briefly saw Tom between class
and he kindly pronounced my casted appearance "damn sexy."
Thanks for the love, dude =)

Anyway, I thought I'd do a little comparison of DePauw and
Berkeley, so you all can see just what different lives Tom,
Jason, and John lead from dear lil' ol' me:

DPU: UCB:

population- 2,000 population- 20,000
percent Asian- 2 percent Asian- 50
percent Greek- 80 percent Greek- 10
location- buttfuck, IN location- ghetto somewhat
near SF
cost- 28,000 cost- 14,000

So as you can see, it's really a different world. Actually
kinda reminds me of Lville. But anyway, so I visited, was
sad, confused, overwhelmed and then had to leave to go
home... The rest is short. Home meant packing and
desperately trying to get my room together and then I was
off to the airport and before you knew it I was back. But
now I have a lot to think about- decisions to make about my
future and my happiness that I don't know HOW to make. And
any insight any of you have would be sorta helpful, but
ultimately I just have to follow my instinct, I guess.

Well, gotta go get my laundry (yes, it's another exciting
Saturday night at school =P)

P.S. I was really excited to get a Diet Coke can written in
Japanese on the airplane today!!! I think it was a
highlight ;)




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