mental illness, yes it is real..

I'm still not sure.......

is it really over ?? lisa still says she loves me.... if
she really loves me , why do i feel like shit ? is suicide
painless ???? i have been told , that when properly done,
yes suicide is painless... if i only had the balls to find
out.... - my luck , i will make serious attempt & end up a
vegitable....
it's only 4:45 & i dont get out of this hellhole till 11
pm.
i wanna die, i want away from the pain.... i wanna be
somewhere where i can be happy & free... does such a place
exist ?? if it does, where is it ??
PLEASE LET ME JUST DIE & GET IT OVER WITH !!!!!